I quit my job recently. I had been working for a company for a number of years as a Knit Accessories Designer/Product Developer. It was a combination of creative design, technical design and product development for knit accessories, mainly beanies. I loved my coworkers. I still love them. But it was time for a new opportunity. I thought I wanted to expand into sweaters, so after some searching happenstance connected me with this company looking for a sweater technical designer. Never under estimate the power of manifesting. Though, I think I wanted this opportunity to work so badly that I ignored some red flags. The first day on the job came and I was nervous, unusually so. Maybe my body was trying to tell me something. Long story short, that was not a good day. I left the new office feeling miserable, lost and useless. Something was not right and I knew it, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. The second day came and went and I had this sinking feeling that either I was going to get fired or I was going to fire myself. I spent that whole evening trying to listen to my body. This new job was not going to work. It wasn’t just me. There were some major flaws with this company and if I stayed, I would become a shell of myself. At 34, I think I have learned a few things about myself. I should hope so! The third day comes and I pull the boss aside and say “I think you and I both had different expectations for this role and considering how bad the first 2 days have gone, I have decided this isn’t going to work. I don’t want to waste your time or mine.” 

There I was on one of the hottest days of July, wandering around Midtown, unemployed and deeply confused. On the one hand I was free, on the other I was now very responsible for my own happiness. How did this happen? How did I last at a new job for 2.5 days? Never under estimate the power of the body. It knows what we need and if we are lucky, we listen. 

After a couple weeks of escape and embarrassment, I renewed my library card and decided I would start with some books. As an artist, I am drawn to art books, knitting books, textiles books, DIY, you name it. Back in my art school days, I had used themes of knotted limbs as “thoughts” and the messiness of the mind. Here I was, feeling very knotted up, twisted and tangled. So I picked up a book titled Year of Knots by Windy Chien. She explores the art of knot making and learned how to make a new knot each day for a whole year. Low and behold, her story is one I must have needed to read. She had left her corporate job at Apple to rekindle her handmade life. She wanted to step away from the screen and the schedule and use her hands.